conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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