Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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