You made me cry and you don't even care
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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