I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
