I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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