I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
