on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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