The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
