Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
