My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
4 words: hood of his car
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize