I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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