Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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