Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
