it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
