So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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