I think my fart just growled at me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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