It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
