I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
