I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
