I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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