he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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