It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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