I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
