you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
