i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
