turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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