and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
