I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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