people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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