If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
