Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
