i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Mom said you looked used
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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