Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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