Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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