its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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