so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
