your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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