McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
