I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
