Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
