Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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