I never want to see another naked old woman again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
