woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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