White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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