I wanna passion pit in your ass
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
