you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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