sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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