somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
