This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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