I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
