Please, let me fuck your mom
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
