I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize