i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
