Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
