dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
