so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
