I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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