Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
